Friday, October 17, 2008

Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back," Translated for Literature Majors

I am fond of oversized hindquarters, and I am unable to falsify this information.
Neither may you fraternal acquaintances offer renouncement,
for when a young female enters, possessing a notably reduced midriff
and a posterior so rotund as to be forthright,
your male member becomes erect, and thusly, you desire to remove it from your trousers
due to the fact that you have become aware of the aforementioned plump dorsal section
which is immersed within a pair of denim dungarees.
I admit addiction to this situation, for I cannot avert my eyes.
Dear maiden, I desire to be close to you
so that I might capture your likeness on a photographic plate.
Compatriots of mine advise caution;
however, I find the derriere that is attached to you incredibly erotic.
O! Thee with the backside of velvety tegument,
do you indicate that you would enter my Mercedes?
Then I beseech: manipulate me to your own ends,
for I believe you to be superior to my usual hangers-on.
I have witnessed how she undulates;
a pox on courtship!
She perspires to a degree that soaks her vestments,
resembling, in her tenacity, a Chevrolet with forced-induction combustion.
I grow weary of periodicals
which report that planar backsides have become chic.
Approach any African male and inquire whether he agrees.
Verily, he will report the opposite.
I ask you, my comrades,
do the loves of your lives retain lipids within their haunches?
If so, you must implore them to agitate them,
for doing so will illustrate their wellness.
Indeed, my darling has a large keister.

Knight Grand Cross Whom Combines Frequently - Indeed, My Darling Has A Large Keister