After seeing the latest Doctor Who
episode, “The Bells of Saint John”, and remaining fairly sick of
the direction the show's been taking since Moffat decided it would be
a great idea to turn it from a science fiction vehicle to a kitschy
romantic comedy, I thought it would be a fun experiment to review the
rest of the episodes before I even see them. Let's see how close my
predictions are!
Episode 233, "The Rings of
Akhaten"
The Doctor and his newest companion,
Clara Oswald (whom, in her latest incarnation, is a crystalline-based
Xylok named Klah-Rahs'Wahld and must be carried around in the
Doctor's pocket) encounter a species of sapient frogs determined to
strip-mine an innocent planet to create an army of robotic
bug-zappers.
Episode 234, "Cold War"
Brrr! The Doctor and Clara (now a
cavewoman from the year 20,000 BC) return to the icy planet of Telos,
where the Cryons have been locked in a war with the Ice Warriors of
Mars. Can the Doctor negotiate a peace before he and Clara freeze to
death? Guest stars Ricky Gervais as a Lurman traveling salesman.
Episode 235, "Hide"
The Doctor and his ever-faithful
companion (now an Auton duplicate who fires jammy dodgers from her
hand-cannons) enter a game of galactic hide-and-seek, where the prize
is the universe itself! There's just one problem: they have to find
each other first, but which Auton duplicate Clara is the REAL Auton
duplicate Clara?
Episode 236, "Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS"
Episode 236, "Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS"
It's classic Who meets new Who as the
Doctor meets his eighth incarnation, played by the venerable Paul
McGann, to stop an 800-year-old sentient pencil... THAT KILLS. Can
they find a way to stop history being literally erased, while saving
Clara (who is also the pencil)? Clive Owen guest stars as the
twenty-seventh Doctor.
Episode 237, "The Crimson Horror"
This entire episode consists of the
Doctor just straight up stabbing the latest Clara repeatedly for 45
minutes because he is so sick of this bullshit.
Episode 238, "Nightmare in Silver"
The Cybermen are back... except this
time, they're the Daleks! A new race of CyberDaleks has taken over
both factions, determined to both assimilate and destroy all of
humanity simultaneously. It's a race against the clock as the Doctor
frenetically babbles and dances around like a loon. Patrick Stewart
guest stars as Actual Goddamn Captain Picard.
1 comment:
I skipped the final episode of the season, since I couldn't find a title posted yet. I'm going to predict it will be called "Oswald That Ends Wald" and it will involve the Doctor regenerating into Clara, to stop an invasion of intelligent dandruff. The Sontarans also show up, but no one gives a shit.
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